Raining incredibly a lot recently and had so much thoughts and feelings that it became impossible to put them into words.
Today the sun came back and I feel summer coming * which should actually arrive next Sunday Yipee!
I took out my sun tan oil SPF8, slapped them on my dull white legs, put on my sunglasses, opened the windows, played a Johnny Halliday CD borrowed from the library, plunged into a sunchair and took a nap. Woke up perspiring and reminded of Singapore ;)
It’s a rare that I had nothing planned on a Saturday, and the feeling was nice and peaceful.. all the time in the world to waste on myself. Just me, myself and I. However I realised I shouldn’t waste the weather and must go jogging.
Unwillingly I had decided to give up raining in the woods at night for security reasons… after being convinced by several different friends who are definitely more sensible than me. It is true although nowadays the sky is very bright till 10pm, if strange men in woods want to do anything funny, they wont care to wait till the sky is dark.
Anyway it was already 730pm so I planned a run in Paris … started from home to Arc de Triomphe, Champs Elysees, passed by Ave Montaigne, checked out the new window of Chanel and Dior, the posh people surrounding Plaza Athenee and ended up at Eiffel Tower. While admiring the beauty of Paris, watching the people drinking champagne on the boats, the tourist snapping photos on bato bus, I feel a sense of non-existence.
How many people have come and go to catch this view, how easy was it for them to do it, and so what if I live in the most beautiful city in the world, and get to let the view fill up my heart each time? How blessed can that be? Even if I smile and find appreciation for life and it inspires me to go on, how long can that last? Will there be a day you will get so sick that it wont strike a cord in you any longer? I wonder…
On the bridge with one of the greatest view in the world, I smiled, happy, peaceful and all… but I realised I have to move on. It seems too beautiful to be real and too beautiful to be mine. 3 times in the single month I have been here to take in the view, and everyday I get to see the Eiffel tower from my windows. However because of this, I cant even attend my best friend’s wedding. I cant even help her when she most needed. Cant do a single meaningful thing for her for her big day. The feeling sucks and I don’t think anyone can understand.
2 comments:
Nah, don't let my pessimissim affect you. I'm always paranoid before something important. Always hard for me to realise that it's difficult to be perfect and have everything right. Just counting down to 20 June now!!
alo my dear!
if I only know of one person that can pick herself up and see the brightness after each thunderstorm, that person will be you!!!
You are right that what's beauty without being touched?
but when you write such posts, it gives me hope to read that you are living well and doing everything to the fullest. And to me, that's the greatest gift a friend can give me. To see you happy is more important than to see you having the financial ability to buy a car or to land that perfect job.
Muacks and love you always!
Gorgeous
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